Are you responding or reacting?
Updated: Dec 27, 2020
One of many choices that will help you stay the course on a peaceful path is choosing what I've dubbed, the 3R solution:
I'll be the first to admit that I STILL struggle with this, years after I began putting it into practice but the first, critical step is awareness.
I was unaware for the majority of my life. I thrived on being reactionary, it was what felt comfortable and natural. I frankly knew of no other way to be.
Once I learned I had a choice in the matter, I've been committed to doing the necessary self-work to get me to the highest possible ratio of responses (over reactions). And since then I've reclaimed my personal power and freedom in ways I've never known.
You may be asking what's the difference anyway? Here's a little breakdown:
To help paint a clearer picture here's a real life scenario example:
Getting home after picking up the kiddo I'm getting ready to prepare dinner and the dog pees in the kitchen, again.
This scenario actually has happened quite a few times (prior to arriving at a solution), see below to see the results of a time I reacted versus a time when I responded.
I'm annoyed by the situation and overwhelmed so I curse to myself ("WTF!! FR? Again?!") and I yell out loud that this has happened several times and it makes no sense when I just took him out before picking up kiddo from school.
At this point, negative thoughts take over, "what am I doing wrong, I can't even take care of my dog properly? How incompetent am I? Why is everything so hard? Now dinner is delayed. Great, more work for me, it never ends." While cleaning up I loudly sigh and groan as I exclaim how I have a million things to do and this is slowing me down.
RESULT OF MY REACTION:
My frustration grew & I subconsciously carried this negative energy, irritation & stress with me through the night, into my interactions with the rest of the family. I killed the whole vibe of the evening and passed the energy onto others.